Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Profile or Resume?

Shidduchim are such a maze that we will grasp any idea that might make the process easier.

Our lives are so busy B"H, between bringing up our kids, working, mivtzoim, learning, chessed etc. that even if we have not reached the dreaded senior moment stage, we cannot keep everything in mind.

The shidduhim solution to this is the "profile". What is a profile?

A profile is a short description of our young man or woman, that describes the essentials without giving a name. The profile lets people know the age, the height, family background i.e. FFB, BT, etc. the level one is at, Chassidish, relaxed, modern and a description of the characteristic of the young man or woman such as kind and giving, very involved in .... quiet and eidel, ambitious, go getter etc. Last but not least a description of what one is looking for such as only shlichus(if you mean it!), yiras shamayim, tznius, outgoing, organized etc.
At the end write in a contact name and phone number and/or email address.

What you have accomplished with a profile is to describe your child and what you are looking for on paper for the easy reference of your friends and contacts.
They in turn can send on or show your profile to others with possible matches without compromising your privacy as you did not disclose your name and address.

If a promising match is found then you can send a full resume which would have the family data such as how many siblings, the schools and camps attended and/or shlichus, references etc.
If you attend a shidduch group meeting or if you want someone to present your child to such a group a profile is indispensable.
Send one to all your relatives so they are reminded that you are looking for your son or daughter and what exactly you are looking for.

A profile is perfect for these days where we do not want the names of our children to float around as a conversation pieces until we get them married; on the other hand we do want people to remember that we have a wonderful son or daughter just brimming with qualities and waiting to get married to that right one.

So c'mon everyone, take paper and pen or laptop and desktop and let us see those profiles! (And yes that means you too mother of boys!!!)

To prepare a profile (From the Chicago Shidduch Group):

  • state the contact person and their email or phone
  • State male or female no name
  • Age and Height
  • Level of frumkeit
  • Shlichus or work or open
  • Family background
  • Personality, talents, midos
  • How would you describe him/her in 3 or 4 words - a short paragraph is ok
  • What is unique about the person
  • What is he/she looking for
  • State contact person again with email and phone