Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Internet in Shidduchim

These days many parents and young men and ladies, are turning to the internet to help with shidduchim. It is good for us parents to know and internalize the fact that there are many ways to start a shidduch, besides waiting for a shadchan to supply a name.

The vast majority of shidduchim are suggested by family and friends. In fact in these two weeks we have had 3 family lechayims and all of them were made by family.

Sometimes a professional shadchan is involved in bringing these suggestions to completion and sometimes not. Often a shadchan may know when it is beneficial to encourage both parties to pursue a shidduch that is stalling, or to advise on and work out minor hiches or gliches that may prevent a shidduch from concluding favorably. Do not "cut your face to spite your nose" as the saying goes. Even if a shadchan did not suggest the name it is still beneficial to use his/her services to insure all does go smoothly. When the person who suggested the name is willing and capable to carry through the shidduch then by all means continue on.


Anonymous said...

The saying is "don't cut off your nose to spite your face", not the other way 'round.

Which brings me to my primary internet "problem", the language is frequently awful. Please, friends, I'm looking at the only information I will see about people who are supposed to be putting their best foot forward, and I see grammar and spelling mistakes. This is the language equivalent of arriving to a date with your shirt stained, wrinkled, and half tucked in. I am not interested in helping a person who can't make verb and noun agree, can't be bothered to spell properly, and won't check to make sure that what s/he wrote makes sense!

If you are filling out a form, then please, copy your answer into a word processing program, spell and grammar check it, and then copy your corrected version into the form. Easy, quick, and you will suddenly look so much better. I just did this. It took less than a minute, I found (and corrected) three spelling/typo errors.