Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A word on Timimg

If I am given a name and someone else suggests another, should I look at both or wait and finish with the first one before going on?

It will depend on how you were given the names. For example the first name offered was just a “he is a boy and she is a girl” kind of suggestion, where the one suggesting does not know the qualities and characters of the two. The second name proposed came from a shadchon (professional or otherwise, friend or family member) who actually gave thought to the compatibility of the couple.

In such circumstances, it would pay to follow up on the second name first, even if one already started looking at the first suggestion. If on the other hand, both names suggested are based on compatibility or both names are just names, then one would finish with the first name suggested before going on to the second one.

Nothing is really a rule so if you would like to research the second name because it sounds better, or it has been given to you by someone closer to you than the other one, go ahead, nothing will be ruined by it.

What if you are already started doing research but a very good prospect is offered?
How much research have you done? was the other side also doing research? If you have just started your research and the other side was not told anything and the name you were just offered is really attractive (and I am not talking about looks) then look at the second and if it does not work out go back to the first. But if the other side was already notified and is doing research as well you will have to finish with the first name before starting with the new suggestion.